


Of Sex Jokes And Butt Honking

by Thaiser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, happy masturbation month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 05:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thaiser/pseuds/Thaiser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamzee is feeling a bit lonesome so he invites his boyfriend Tavros and his buddy kurloz over for faygo by the pool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Sex Jokes And Butt Honking

Gamzee spent a lot of time alone. His father had more or less declared him a failure when he insisted on studying art instead of entering into the military as men in his family had done since their esteemed ancestor had first been knighted by the king himself centuries ago.

Gamzee could still hear his fathers words echoing sometimes when he was a little too aware and a little too alone, the words that had accused him of being an embarrassment to his aristocratic heritage, undeserving of the grand estate and titles still in his family’s possession.

Family history can earn a man a lot of privileges, and a lot of pressure. Gamzee had never really lived up to the pressures his father had placed on him. It was hard work being the son of a duke who had never quite had the time to sit down with his son. It was hard and no one understood.

But he appreciated those who tried, his juggalo brothers and sisters who supported him in his decision to pursue his love of color and observing the wonders of the world.

Gamzee Makara was not a man of great knowledge, but no person goes through life without picking up a few tidbits of wisdom, and the one gamzee in particular had always been able to identify with was the wisdom that detailed the importance of holding good friends in high regard.

So it was that when things became too much and his home seemed to become larger and emptier before his very eyes, when the harsh reality that he had let so many people down in his life time that they had stopped expecting anything from him, dug its sobering claws into his shoulders and breathed words of both truth and cruelty on his face, that Gamzee Makara sought out his friends.

He first called his boyfriend of two years and best friend of fifteen, Tavros, who had been an ever loyal companion on many a daring quest and adventure, at least in their own minds, one could debate how daring it really was to run around with cardboard swords in the middle of the woods chasing down imaginary ghouls and dragons like tomorrow depended on it.

Next he called Kurloz, many mistook them for relatives, Gamzee blamed it on the paint, in reality they had met at a juggalo meet up and did not share any form of genetic kinship. Juggalo kinship however was something entirely different, juggalos were a family, brothers and sister, not in blood but in bond.

And right now, with the harsh sides of reality beating down the doors to his consciousness he needed a brother, and though Kurloz was not a man of many words, having lost the ability to speak in a prior accident. He had always been very supportive of Gamzee, and somehow even if he could not reply without the use of pen and paper, it was just chill to know that he was there.

Gamzee could honestly think of nothing better than having the two over who had been at his side for so long, for Gamzee had always treasured his friends more than anything else he had ever set eyes upon.

So as he sat lounging in a laid back chair luxuriously crowded with pillows and blankets, his lover at his side laughing along with him, and his bro just across from him chuckling heartily, Gamzee felt at peace.

“I dunno man, I just feel like, we’re all connected you know, none of us motherfuckers would be the same if we didn’t have each other, it’s like one big family, and no one even notices, it’s just so weird man”.

Okay, so maybe Gamzee was a little too at peace, or just a little too contemplative in general, either way, he had been drifting in and out of these speeches for a while now, alternating between cracking jokes and constructing long philosophical soliloquies that went nowhere while his friends nodded meaningfully along with him.

As the night went on caffeine and sugar was downed and the pool in front of them had been illuminated in a subtle but surprisingly bright blue light from beneath the waters surface, the three became less and less concerned with the world outside, it was much more fun to stage fake award shows in parody of the one his father had dragged him to that one time to show off only his son and heir in front of his noble friends, than face the sad reality that it had been the last time his father had taken him anywhere.

Where the pink plastic dress had come from no one knew, only that the short little miniskirt and apron like front had suited Gamzee’s newly adopted persona of “Categorina” quite impeccably when he had pulled it on over his clothes.

He swished his ass and did dramatic turns, flipping his bleach blonde wig with every other movement, announcing the winner of the newest not at all completely fake and made up on the spot award through a thick wad of chewing gum that lingered and smacked obnoxiously between his teeth when he spoke in his best parody of a very stereotypical nasal and high pitched voice.

“Well, like, the winner is like totally Kurloz for best homie of the night, I mean, he brought faygo so like, who can top that right?” Categorina spoke from the place of honor on top of the marble slab jutting out over the pool that acted as his chosen stage, with a hand on his hip and the other holding the blank sheet of paper he had read the announcement from.

He enthusiastically waved Kurloz up onto the stage while Tavros clapped excitedly from his seat in the pile of pillows and blankets Gamzee had previously shared with him.

The other man joined him with bow and a smile, content to simply play along with his friend’s sugar fueled antics.

For his amicable compliance he was rewarded with a bottle of faygo in true juggalo manner and style, which he accepted graciously with a wide smile and a little tap by his fingers on his cheek.

Gamzee was not one for spoiling a good round of fun, so he compliantly leaned in with absurdly puckered lips to press a kiss to his friends face, he didn’t get very far as Kurloz had other plans, ones that involved kissing Gamzee on the mouth and dipping him backwards in the ever classic and ever stereotypical end to a movie tango or waltz.

It was the silliest kiss ever witnessed between two grown men, one miming out a classic romantic cliche while the other grabbed his ass and broke away from the kiss to exclaim “HONK!”. Tavros nearly died with sheer laughter.

It didn’t take long for the two others to break down into roaring laughter either, or well, Kurloz just kind of wheezed, Gamzee laughed hard enough for the both of them though.

That was until Kurloz slapped Gamzee on the back a bit too hard and he stumbled towards the edge of the platform towards the clear blue waters of the pool, the slap was quickly reciprocated with a push, and a push with a shove, till the both of them were more or less wrestling to throw the other in the water.

Tavros couldn’t stop giggling long enough to warn them of the dangers of falling on marble fast enough, in the end Gamzee prevailed in his quest and the heinous backslapper that was his dear friend was catapulted into the warm waters below them, with an energetic whoop whoop and a splash Gamzee quickly jumped in to join him.

Within moments both were soaked and stifling their bouts of watery laughter to attempt some form of intelligent communication, only Kurloz succeeded, he climbed out of the water to sit at the edge with his feet and calves still submerged.

Gamzee finally looked over at Tavros who’s face quickly turning as red as a steam broiled lobster with laughter, Gamzee pointed and chuckled from the water “liked that did’ya Tav” he teased waving his accusing finger around excitedly “do you like it when this motherfucker all up and gets his mack on with another, huh, huh?” he taunted gently.

Tavros tried to respond, he really did, “Gamzee” it was just that he was laughing a bit too hard and now he really couldn’t stop even when he wanted to, a sputtered “Gamzee, I” followed by several bouts of giggling, a worthy effort indeed.

Gamzee however was only encouraged by his boyfriends inability to form a coherent response, so he pulled off the ridiculous pink plastic monstrosity and wandered over towards Kurloz, smiling deviously at Tavros he put both his hands on Kurloz’ thighs and lifted himself up to kiss him again.

He then broke away and slid back into the water to run his hands up Kurloz’ thighs rubbing along the way, all the way up to the hem of his glow in the dark skeleton t-shirt, lifting it slightly to get his hands underneath and sliding against his chest, rubbing along his front and around his waist to his back Gamzee gradually pulled himself in closer to nuzzle his friends belly and nudge his shirt up a little further.

Gamzee wasn’t shy, he kissed and at kurloz’ belly, working his way up on his elbows to kiss and lick at his chest, circling the other mans nipples teasingly while Tavros’ face grew ever redder and Kurloz simply smiled and put a hand in his friends hair to support his head while his other hand held up his shirt

Gamzee sucked at his collarbone for a few seconds before slowly making his way back down again, bringing his hands from back around Kurloz’ waist to unbutton his pitch black pants, pulling the fly open and nudging a hand in to pull out kurloz’ half erect stiffy.

He leaned in and left little licks at the head before suckling it entirely, glancing over at Tavros who’s face was slowly but surely sinking into his hoodie in embarrassment, encouraged by his boyfriends reaction he swallowed down a little more, and then a little more than that.

Kurloz smiling down at him with one hand in his hair, encouraging him and the other stroking up and down his back soothingly, he ran his tongue along the underside as best he could, moving his head up and down in a steady rythm while Kurloz massaged his scalp and closed his eyes, leaning back slightly while he hummed in lieu of moaning.

It didn’t take long for Kurloz’ humming to sound more like quiet growling, steadily growing louder till he buckled over and panted through his mouth, Gamzee pulled away licking his lips in an attempt to rein in the strings of saliva on his chin.

Looking over at the curled up ball of blushing that was currently Tavros, he smiled and crawled out of the water, pulling off his soaking wet shirt and leaving it on the ground behind him he approached Tavros, asking him jokingly if he was okay in there.

He gently pulled Tavros’ hoodie over his head and leaned down to kiss him, moving to sit down and pulling Tavros into his lap so he could pull off his shirt as well, running his tongue along the inside of Tavros’ mouth he tugged his shirt open as well and slid it over his shoulders and down his arms.

Suckling at Tavros’ ear he unbuttoned his own pants and dragged them down to expose his underwear, doing the same to his partners own trousers was the next logical step, immediately followed by Gamzee pulling his hips closer, Tavros’ erection pressing against his belly while his own strained against the other mans buttocks.

He kissed and licked his way down Tavros’ throat, nibbling gently at his collarbone while his fingers pulled at the elastic of his drawers, sliding under them to grasp and knead.

Tavros hugged his arms tightly around Gamzee’s neck while he lifted his hips and allowed his boxers to be pulled down and pushed out of the way, pulling down Gamzee’s in return before hugging him ever closer and returning to his seat in his lap, Gamzee’s dick resting against his belly alongside his own.

He took them both in hand and rubbed, pulling at foreskin and sliding the two against each other while Gamzee nuzzled and left light little kisses on his neck, holding him close, pressing their chests together while keeping his head down below his boyfriends chin against his neck.

Tavros continued to slide the two against each other, running his thumb across the tips, moaning quietly with his cheek against Gamzee’s hair, he gradually stroked a little faster, his grip becoming a little more firm as Gamzee’s hands pulled at him a little more insistently.

Gamzee’s hips twitched upwards on a particularly fast stroke, grunting appreciatively against his soft skin. Tavros responded by stroking them both a little faster even than before, increasing the speed gradually until Gamzee twitched and groaned on every downward stroke, it was only minutes before they both more or less tensed up and Gamzee’s hand joined Tavros’.

Having Tavros in his lap was a joy, even with semen splattered between them and Kurloz chilling in the corner, for a few blissful moments it was just generally pretty great to be alive.


End file.
